The Witteman's Review of....

Hulk vs Wolverine/Hulk vs Thor...

Lionsgate released this two feature set of action packed animated films recently, and I was intrigued by the previews and clips youtube had to offer. It's no secret that one of the biggest on going battle feuds within Marvel comics is between Wolverine and the Hulk. But, it does make for good cinema to have the god of thunder to go up against the ultimate Marvel powerhouse. Let's begin...

Hulk vs Wolverine is up first and, unfortunately, I have but one word for it: Disappointing. Now, it wasn't completely disappointing, but overall, I wanted something else, or at the very least, something more. Our films starts with our favorite Canadian berserker being called in by the Canadian government to take care of the Hulk, who's been rampaging across the Canadian countryside (I never thought I'd write 'Canadian' so much in one sentence). This is reflective of, not just the plot, but the actual dialogue lifted from Ultimate Hulk vs Ultimate Wolverine (to which I am not a HUGE fan of the Ultimates line, but this picture won me over):



Adding a high note, Wolverine is garbed in his 90's suit rather than his modern suit, which I definitely prefer (though not against the yellow and brown suit). Anyways, after a slightly long tracking sequence, Wolverine meets up with Bruce Banner, Banner turns into Hulk, and combat ensues. To the creators' credit, there was an adequate use of blood and profanity that you would expect if these characters were to actually exist without going of the top for shock value. I suppose that's the highest marks I can give this piece is treating the characters with an adult mindset than just for kids, which happens to many comic-to-cartoon adaptations (Thank God for Batman: The Animated Series)...

So, after what seems like a much too short combat sequence, Wolverine's villains show up, take down both Wolverine and the Hulk, and drag them off to the Weapon X facility. Wait, WHAT?!? Yes, they felt the need to throw *ahem* plot into a feature that would almost be better as just a combat vehicle. So, we see a surprisingly good adaptation of the Weapon X storyline via flashback, and subsequently find out that it was in fact Weapon X who wanted both the Hulk AND Wolverine as their weapons. I mean, I guess since the combined efforts of Sabertooth, Deadpool, Lady Deathstrike, and Omega Red couldn't...stop...

WAITAFRIGGINMINUTE!!! Neither Deathstrike or Red were Weapon X victims!! Sure, they fall into the 'We Hate Wolverine With Every Fiber Of Our Being' Club, but Omega Red was a damn TARGET, not a member of Weapon X! Oh god, continuity is a harsh mistress. And I know Deadpool is the 'Merc with a Mouth' and is sort of a more popular character nowadays, but this interpretation is just annoying and you are just waiting for Hulk to rip his head off (he doesn't). After the inclusion of *sigh* Weapon X, the film takes a decidedly more anime style (especially in Deathstrike and Red's case), but not enough to make me shut it off. Since the villains can't decide between killing off Wolverine or self-preservation against RAGE INCARNATE(!!), they get their crap kicked all over the place...

As the movie draws to a close, Hulk (for some reason) decides to tear the ENTIRE COMPLEX DOWN. Seems more prudent that he would just escape, but hey, I'm just a fan. After these moments of special effects-ery, and swatting Wolverine with a skyscraper-esqe pylon, the Hulk leaves his wake of destruction behind him and returns to the Canadian wilds where he is free to roam in piece. OR IS HE?!?! Wolverine still happens to be conscious and (oddly enough) rechallenges the Hulk to begin where they left off 45 minutes ago. The movie fades to black as these two unstoppable forces leap back into the fray, as if this battle will continue for eons upon eons...

Style: It was a nice mix between accepted American imagery and anime styled combat. Believable and not abhorrent, though their choices on some of the little details perplex me. But, as I said, these are little details...

Story: Did we really have to throw Weapon X in there? It would be like throwing a trip to the Negative Zone in the 'Death of Superman' storyline. Unnecessary. A slugfest with these two heroes would have carried itself. Also, how do end it with a non-ending? Why not use 'parting with grudging respect' or 'not meeting after the collapse of the facilities' or 'one letting the other go their separate ways'? Very unsatisfying in the end...

Voices: Quite good on the whole. I even like they got the guy who played The Kurgan in 'Highlander' to be the voice of Sabertooth. The Wolverine voice even evoked a bit of Cathal Dodd, the voice of Wolverine in the 90's...

Grade: C+ and a free pass for a redo. The story and some of the in-movie styles and portrayals bring the grade down a smidge, but on a good day, it might be graded a B- as well. I recommend this toon to others, mainly to get their reaction. Perhaps I have been too harsh, or not harsh enough. You tell me, fellow viewers...

Next up, Hulk vs Thor. Stay tuned...

The Return...

In the year of our Lord, 2-double aught-9, a mid-20's man makes his return to the interwebs. What he finds is a disgrace. A single post in December, January shamefully skipped, and over a week into February with nothing to show for it. This simply won't do. The only way to catch up to the NOW: Montage Post...

Starting it off, December: Had a most excellent vacation. Got to see most of my friends, ESPECIALLY those I keep in the best contact with. You others are next (I'm looking at you, Jen and Georgia). Christmas with the fam, including G-Maw Witte, was a nice taste of childhood again, but it's finally sinking in that I just can't go back to that life anymore. If you say 'Duh!', I've got a punch in the face and a kick in the teeth waiting for you. New Years was low key but fun. Spent it with Brian and Chris and Tara, had some most excellent wine, played games, and all in all, a good time to be had by all. Losing money aside, of course. AND if you ever wanted to know what The Witte looks like, this is me at New Years:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qKJnguZtEv8

The biggest event for January was, obviously, the inauguration of Barack Obama, our 44th President and the first black one to boot. No one took a shot at him, his rhetoric was on point, and now I just don't want to have to see him and his family on every damn magazine cover (won't happen). Seriously, he's in, he's going to do good things, but give us something else besides the Obama's, the Pitt's, and every other boring, blah blah story you come up with. All that aside, I congratulate the man on being the official ruler of the free world and the best of luck to his term(s)...

The transition between that moment and now has been marked by a few events is varying degrees of importance. Some of these happen to be:

-My dear friends Lexie and Grant had their first child (Rose), around the end of January and the beginning of February. This is significant since they are my first close friends I keep in contact with to spawn (so that cuts Ben out). I haven't seen the pictures yet, but due to the attractiveness of both of my friends, I can only assume it is a pretty baby...

-While in the grand scheme this sounds piddling, I figure it was worth a mention. Gran Torino is an excellent movie and I highly recommend it to anyone who enjoys a more slice of life, character driven movie. Clint is true to form and recalls the days of 'The Man With No Name', except in this one, he has one (Walt Kowalski). He plays a Korean vet, racial as hell but (you guessed it) with a heart of gold. I don't want to give too much away, but I will say it is amusing to see such a character in this the modern age and still believe that such a character might really exist...

-In a new segment for The Witte Says..., I will be on Celebrity Watch. Now, this may seem like pablum or other media offensive word, BUT so far it's been awesome. Comic book crowd aside (like at IthaCon, see below), I happened to meet this guy:

This guy is known by the stage name Hilby the Skinny German Juggle Boy and he is most excellent. I saw him first at McDaniel College in 01 or 02, and then again in summer of 06 at the Maryland Renfest. Each time, he has been a treat. His shtick never gets old and appears to truly love his craft. I met/saw Hilby at the Salvation Army (my second job if you've forgotten) up here in Ithaca. When I saw him with his companions(?), I thought 'There is no way there are two guys who look and sound like that so I just have to ask.' So I did, kinda. It was lame, I said, 'Sir, do I know you?' And he replied, with that delicious German accent, 'Why, yes, I am a stage performer. I juggle, tell jokes, that sort of thing.' So we talked for a minute and he said, 'Say hi at the next show you see.' Alright, Hilby, if you read this(and, much like Rick Springfield, you probably won't), expect an odd hello from this fan...

-And, finally: ITHACON. dun Dun DUN!!! Taking up my first Saturday (as well as Jon and Jesse's), this college town of Ithaca has it's own comic book convention, hosted by their resident comic book club (big friggin' surprise there). For those of you who don't know, I, along with the two aforementioned friends, have our own comic book label (Crash N Klein Comics). Our two titles, Denim Avenger and CosMick, are in the works, the DA will be done probably before the weather breaks and CM will debut online late summer. Since the Witte has it in with said comic book club, he arranged for CnK to have a table at IthaCon. We had a ball. We rubbed shoulders with legit comic guys, like Ken Wheaton, Storn Cook, and Roger Stern. We hawked our wares, raffled off a picture, gave out fliers, and nearly got Jon a date. Too bad he lives in lower PA, yes? All in all, it was very productive and fun day, proving once again that we just love it behind the table...

Turning from his post, The Witte gives a small smile. It's not much of an inroad, but it IS a start. It's a new year, and by God, we're going to give it a better chance than it had in the last. Salut...